If you’re pregnant and not sure what to do, please remember that “adoption is an option” – it’s a choice that you make for very specific reasons. You’re making a decision – both for your child and for yourself – that’s based in love and compassion. As we always say, you’re not “giving up” your child for adoption, you’re making a decision to “place” them for adoption with a loving family.
There are a multitude of reasons that birth mothers choose adoption – and we know from years of experience that every situation is unique. However, there are several common reasons that birth moms choose adoption, and we wanted to share the 10 most common reasons – so you know that you’re not alone and that other birth mothers have been where you are right now.
1. You’re too young
Becoming a parent is a huge, life-changing choice. Sometimes an unexpected pregnancy comes at a time where you’re simply too young to make that commitment. For example, many pregnant teenagers want to be able to complete their education without the added responsibility of being a parent.
2. You’re just not ready to be a parent
Again, being a parent is a huge decision. Even if you’re older, there’s nothing wrong with not being ready to parent a child. Admitting that you’re not ready to be a parent doesn’t make you a bad person. Choosing adoption is a loving, mature decision that you should be proud of.
3. You’re under financial stress
Parenting is expensive – it’s a fact of life. In fact, the USDA released a report that estimated that the average American family spends around $12,980 EACH YEAR on a child. You want your child to have the best possible life. Sometimes, birthmothers are in a situation where they simply can’t afford to parent a child. Whether you’ve already got children or this is your first baby, the financial impact is a major consideration.
4. You don’t have any support
If you’re a single parent, it can be extremely difficult to raise a child on your own. If the birth father isn’t around, and your family lives far away, and your friends have their own lives, you’d be completely on your own with a new baby to care for. Without the emotional and physical support of “your village”, you may not be able to parent your child.
5. You don’t have a stable home environment
Some birth mothers don’t have a stable home environment – whether they don’t have a permanent home, or they’re in a job that requires extensive travel, or they’re incredibly busy with their career and simply won’t be home very often. If you know you won’t be home, or that you’ll be moving often, that may make it difficult or even impossible to raise a child.
6. You have important goals for your future
Ask yourself the popular interview question: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Are you still in college and expect to be working? Are you on a rigorous career path? While it’s not impossible to achieve your goals and parent a child, it’s definitely much more difficult to achieve your goals while being a new parent.
7. Your family doesn’t approve
Sometimes, birth mothers choose adoption because they know their family wouldn’t approve of them becoming parents. Especially if you still live with your parents, family approval can be a massive factor in choosing adoption. Remember, adoption proceedings aren’t public information. Sometimes adoption allows for birth mothers to place their child with a loving family and avoid letting the family know about the pregnancy.
8. You’ve decided against other options
Some birth mothers know they’re not ready to parent a child, but they’re also sure that terminating the pregnancy is not an option. You know what’s best for you and your baby, and if you know that abortion isn’t a choice for you, adoption is your best option.
9. You’re not healthy enough to be a parent
Sometimes health issues make it difficult or impossible to be a parent. If you’re in poor physical or mental health, you may not be able to properly care for your child. Adoption allows you to give your baby the life that you physically aren’t able to provide.
10. You want a better life for your child
You want the best for your baby. Sometimes, birth mothers are in a situation where they know they can’t give their baby the future they deserve. Choosing to place your child with a loving adoptive family allows your baby to have every opportunity he or she deserves.
